


Venting

by Trash_Doc



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: I Don't Even Know, I used too much creative freedom, Reader Is Not Frisk, Reader-Insert, See what I did there, Slice of Life, a porno sans the smut, aaaaaaaaahhhhh, didn't think too much into it, half this stuff is unnecessary, horrible writing, it's only pretending to have one, like REALLY horrible writing, there's no real plot, think of it like a porno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-12 09:07:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5660728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trash_Doc/pseuds/Trash_Doc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I feel like I’m going to hell for this.” I need to throw this out somewhere so I can be a decent, productive human being again. Gender-neutral.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Venting

**Author's Note:**

> I never thought I’d be so Undertale trash with a Sans kink that I need to... get it out of my system somehow. Don’t have a tumblr or anything, so here. Take this slosh of brain poop. Originally female reader but I switched out the pronouns to 2nd POV and rewrote it vaguely to make it gender-neutral (sorry if there are some discrepancies – lemme know if any are found). Alsoyou’reawitchormagicianwithbonehandsbecausewhythehellnot. TAKE IT FOR WHAT IT IS.
> 
> Edit: Changed rating to mature, since nothing explicit was being described.

A long, long time ago, two races ruled over Earth: Humans and Monsters. One day, a war broke out between the two races. After a long grueling battle, the humans were victorious. Their greatest magicians sealed all the monsters away into Mt. Ebott with a magical barrier.

But did you hear now? 

The barrier suddenly disappeared. Monsters were returning to live on the surface world after so many years. Humans were quick to oppose it, as many would do on the concept of change... But one small child, Frisk, the human child that bridged the gap between humans and monsters – not sure how, but they charmed the majority perfectly. Those monsters couldn’t have asked for a better ambassador.

It’s been a while, you thought dully as you sank further into your working desk. Seemed like everyone for the most part was adapting to the change pretty well. Wonder how they would react upon meeting her and knowing your heritage...? Disgust, you decided most likely. A bitter resentment and maybe hatred.

You, as the main of this particular... tale, was a direct descendant of one of those great magicians. A talented so-called witch with the mind of a scientist, you experimented, discovered and created many things that humans generally would think were miracles. Alternative medicines that cured just as well as science, premonitions that told one’s luck, and charms that assisted with love. For the most part, your shop was run like your (un)usual chemist. You kept it on the down low, but you went by a couple names: as a Witch or a Scorcerer... and a Sinner for your ancestors and the gods.

Curiosity was a trait of yours that was never satiated, boundaries were always pushed for more discoveries, more miracles, more chaos. You glanced down at your fully gloved hands. One day, you crossed the line with space and time anomalies... Or time travel as you would call it. There were legends of human beings that had the power to change the world as they saw fit. There weren’t many, the level of determination or just damn luck was too rare. And you were not one of them. 

You messed up only once. 

Instead of travelling forward and back in time, you broke the taboo that was never spoken. 

Never stop time. Even in the most desperate and hopeless of situations.

Degloving, you sighed at the sight. As a price to pay, your forearms and hands no longer had the soft flesh of skin and muscle. It was only bone. You didn’t know why you decided to look at them again. It was a heavy reminder of the sin you committed by trying to play god. Your talent wavered, making your own work much harder than before. With these bone hands, they were best for curses, destruction and omens of misfortune. You’d be better off quitting sorcery altogether, instead of trying your damnedest to continue your “reputable” work. Sometimes you wondered if your ancestors did that out of guilt too. Quit, that is.

But here you still sit, writing away notes for your potions and spells for the times the superstitious and the strange people needed you.

-ONE DAY-

You weren’t sure how it ended up like this, having a monster stand before you in your little cottage house and shop. You were uneasy to say the least – a large female goat monster, by the name of Toriel, sat across from you and sipped on her tea anxiously as her garnet eyes pleaded with yours. This particular monster was one of the more well known to the human community. She was formerly the Queen of Monsters, and now the adoptive mother of Frisk. Think she was a teacher at one of the local public schools now.

Your dulled eyes swept over Toriel cautiously before a heavy exhale left your lips. You looked down at your gloved hands subconsciously resting on your little dining table, almost looking like guilt and shame. Luckily, your client didn’t notice. 

Picking up your own cup of tea, you hid your lips behind the rim. 

“Ms Dreemurr-”

“Please, call me Toriel. What do you think?”

“... Toriel. Isn’t better for you to take Frisk to the hospital?” A bright smile was smacked across your face, albeit it was feeling strained. “Human science has come a very long way.”

You jolted when Toriel easily reached across the dining table and grabbed your hands. You visibly stiffened, nervous and fearing for the possibility of her noticing a difference in touch underneath your gloves. Hopefully, Toriel’s furry coverings hid that feeling away. She was looking distressed now.

“Please, we’ve been told about you. You’re a magician human that can cure many things!”

You raised a brow and lowered your tea back onto the table. Who on earth would recommend you to them? Nevertheless, you had to come up with some excuse, as weak as it is. “It’s just appendicitis... an operation is common.” The real reason being you didn’t want to use ‘magic’ in front of monsters. Don’t they hate that idea? How is Toriel acting so nonchalant about it right now? She was still peering at the witch in honest desperation.

“Please. Save Frisk...”

Ugh... 

How can you say no to that, even though this was all completely unnecessary? You almost grumbled in front of her. Just take them to the hospital, sheesh. What did they have against that?

-SOME TIME PASSES-

Here you were. You weren’t sure of what other monsters you would encounter when you left the shop with Toriel to her home. You didn’t quite want to ask either - it wasn’t really... your place? So when they stood before the front door and Toriel unlocked it, nothing prepared you for what’s to come once you stepped inside.

“Papyrus! Sans! I’ve brought the witch to help Frisk!”

In that instant, heavy footsteps approached the pair. You felt herself freeze up upon sight, a tall skeleton man with a scarf (cape?) and battle armour skidded into a halt in front of you and Toriel, yelling frantically and flailing about.

“THANK GOODNESS. PLEASE, WITCH HUMAN. FRISK IS IN SO MUCH PAIN! THIS WAY! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAD TRIED EVERYTHING BUT IT’S NOT GETTING ANY BETTER!”

“Uh...” You could barely get a word out of your mouth when this Papyrus fellow grabbed your wrist and practically dragged you into a bedroom. Your head was still spinning, locked on the fact that there was a living skeleton monster that looked just like your arms. You both barged through the door noisily.

Scratch that. There were two skeletons. 

Amazing. You used magic and you were partially skeletal... maybe you were actually part monster instead. Your eyes stared widened at the shorter (relative to Papyrus) and stockier skeleton sitting by the bed. This must be ‘Sans.’ He looked much calmer than the one right next to you, on a normal day he might be one of those laid back and chilled types. But even now, his brow bone furrowed in concern, reminding you why you were here in the first place.

Looking over to the bed, there laid Frisk. Beads of sweat formed on their forehead and they were tensing and guarding their abdomen in pain. Typical appearance of a tummy upset or appendicitis, you guessed. A doctor could probably spot it a mile away. Toriel glided past by you, cradling the child gently.

“Frisk, my child. I have brought someone here to help you.”

All eyes (eye sockets) seemed to be on you now. You gulped discreetly, finally stepping forward towards the bed. “L... Let me see,” you mumbled, leaning over and lifting up the child’s sweater. Looking over your shoulder, you gestured to the bag you brought along, filled with potions and ingredients no normal human should have. “Could one of you get my bag in the-”

You jolted. Sans was already in front of you, bag in his bony hand. “... corner...” you finished uncertainly. Taking it from him with a nod, and careful not to touch his hands, you opened the pouch and pulled out a thermos. The smell of the hot liquid inside wasn’t too pleasant, and tasted like ginseng and aniseed. Toriel helped Frisk sit up slowly and helped them drink.

To be honest, your workmanship never looked remarkable. You’d expect flashy lights and crazy effects from a magician. You didn’t quite like that style. It gains too much attention; all you were was just a witch. But suppose some people think it’s pretty cool, when they see the immediate effects. Frisk was starting to have colour return to their cheeks and their body relaxed. The monsters in the room gasped.

“Are you alright now, my child?” Toriel asked eagerly. Frisk nodded, slowly but surely transitioning back to perfect condition and health. They turned to say their thanks to you, who in turn giggled weakly and smiled back. Papyrus wailed in relief and Sans chuckled and nodded.

“you really had us worried,” were the first words he said since you met him. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but he spoke... strangely? The little lights of pupils in his eye sockets skimmed over your form and he smiled at you, though he was already grinning. “thanks, kid.”

K... Kid? You? KID?

“WOWIE! HOW CAN WE EVER REPAY YOU, WITCH HUMAN?!” Papyrus clasped his hands over yours, quickly ameliorating your annoyance. “I KNOW! I’LL COOK YOU A GREAT PAPYRUS SPECIAL MEAL: SPAGHETTI!”

“That... That’s okay, Papyrus. Money is just fine with me.”

“Oh, of course. How much do I owe you?” 

You smiled at the goat mother. “I guess... We can discuss over some tea.”

-

You were supposed to be back at the store by now. Why are you still in this house? And why are you watching a skeleton cook spaghetti, or at least try to? Papyrus was humming to himself, while Sans was nowhere to be found. Toriel was still in Frisk’s room, taking care of the child as they continued to regain their strength.

It wasn’t long until the front door smashed open and yells were heard from the distance. You paled and had your face in your hands, uncertain of what’s to come. Papyrus, on the other hand, appeared... happy.

“OH UNDYNE! DR ALPHYS! IN HERE!” he called. The next thing you knew, a fish and a lizard monster came tumbling in. 

“WHERE ARE THEY?! HOW IS FRISK?!” the fish woman screamed. The other monster, the lizard woman, meekly peered in from behind. Maybe she’s the doctor, you mused automatically. Scientist perhaps, since she probably would have been the first point of contact if she were a medical doctor.

“I-Is Frisk okay now? Oh, I wish I could have done something.” Scientist indeed.

“THE WITCH HUMAN HERE SAVED FRISK!”

What was with all the yelling? You jumped when Papyrus hugged you from the side and did so again when Undyne grabbed your hands just like the skeleton did before. “OH MY GOD.” You couldn’t keep up with this insanity anymore. Undyne was thanking you, you think...? It was all so dizzying.

You were late to warn and react to the incident.

“Wait!”

Silence. Your mind had finally caught up to the events, and the next thing you realised, your gloves were in Papyrus’s loose grip. You were hanging by the underarms in Undyne’s hold. And they were all staring at your arm.

Shitballs.

“Y-YOU... YOU’RE A SKELETON, WITCH HUMAN? WITCH SKELETON?!?!” Papyrus yelped just as Undyne finally dropped your body to the floor from shock. The yell got Toriel to run out of the room, and San to appear out too. You grimaced, snatching your gloves back from Papyrus.

“I’m fully human, just so you all know,” you mumbled as you put your gloves back on. “I’ve just done... things.”

A soft hum echoed in your ears. You glanced around at them, partially curious of the sound and where it was coming from. But nothing appeared to be the case, so you gave up and lowered your gaze to the ground, gripping your upper arms tightly. “My ancestors have done terrible things to your kind. I don’t get why you all don’t hate me...”

You didn’t understand it at all. Why were they smiling so kindly at you like that?

-MORE TIME PASSES-

“knock, knock.”

“Sans...”

It’s been a long while since the very first encounter and incident. You thought that was the end of it. Little did you expect, the gods of coincidence liked your paths to cross much more later on. Invitations to dinner that you couldn’t refuse, running into Frisk by the school... Sans visiting your little shop/house regularly...

Speaking of, why was he always here? You thought he was lazy. Well, Papyrus told you that he was lazy. He was always grinning, and he also had a tendency to throw out really bad puns. At first you laughed politely, but now the best reaction he got out of you was a groan of despair and your head slamming against the desk.

But otherwise... He was pretty good company.

“working hard, or hardly working?” he asked casually, ambling into the kitchen to take you newly bought bottle of ketchup. You narrowed your eyes at him. It’s been only a day since you replaced that ketchup. Maybe you should stop buying it altogether; he kept drinking it straight out of the bottle like it was booze. Turning back to your notes, you answered his question off-handedly.

“Hard to work when I always have you barging in.”

Were you good enough friends such that you could let your courtesy guard down and be as pitiful and snarky as you always were? You jumped when Sans appeared right next to you, glancing over your meticulous notes. How did he always pop out unannounced like that, you wondered. Suddenly, you realised that he was reading your notes and slammed your book shut with a huff. He had commented before how your work looked a lot more like a scientist’s than a stereotypical witch, which earned a scoffing laugh from you in response. Did he expect cauldrons and bats?

“alchemy, huh?” He started to tug on one of the fingers of your gloves, only to be promptly smacked away by your other hand. “trying to get your arms back to how they were?”

“Hmph...” 

That was a yes.

“so what happened?”

-

Sans couldn’t believe it when he first saw your arms on that day. It brew a mix of strange feelings, slight excitement that humans can turn into skeletons even before death, yet disappointment that you perceived it as punishment for her sins. So when he asked you about it, he didn’t really think you would open up with the answer so easily.

His white pupils flickered. So you played with space and time. Indeed, you had the talent to even stop time, even if it was one of the worse things to do. His eye sockets lowered, akin to half-lids as he watched your story unravel. You sounded like you were about to cry, but there wasn’t even the slightest hint of tears forming. It was like you had run out of tears for your life.

Once again, he tugged at your glove, grasping your other wrist easily as you went again to smack him away. You stared at him bewildered, a rather cute look if he had to admit it. Your own hand clacked against his, as he casually examined your bones in closer detail. There was a slight warmth, just like his. Unlike his bones though, that hummed with a soft vibration of magic power, yours were just... there. He saw a quick glimpse of your face, which was starting to turn into a nice slight shade of pink as your hand gripped over his. He whistled lowly.

“so what else can you do?”

You looked up at him in surprise and slight confusion. He had changed the subject, though it was something he didn’t think was too abnormal for him. Your gaze averted elsewhere, and you leaned back on her chair. “Let me think...” you said slowly. “... But what do I get out of it?”

“heh. what’s with that tone? sounds like you have some sort of _bone_ to pick with me.” You groaned again, which only made San’s already big grin widen more. “alright, alright. how about this?”

You barely registered the change in his eyes when his hand glowed blue. The next thing you knew, your notebooks and pens floated into the air and flew around at the skeleton’s whim like telekinesis. You frowned and puffed your cheeks. 

“Show off...”

“this? this isn’t showing off,” he chuckled. “ **this** is showing off.”

“ACK!” You screamed just as he lifted you off your chair with his power. Quickly you were spun upside down, your hands frantically pushing up against the gravity of your loose t-shirt to keep it from falling over your face. “You pervert!”

“oops.”

He was still laughing, but quickly placed you back down. Your face was flushing red, glaring hell’s fury at the skeleton, while the recipient only stared amused at your heaving form. You stopped. Then blinked, as you could have sworn she saw his mouth open and a blue tongue flick out... just for a second. Or was it just your imagination?

“so what else can you do?” he repeated his original question. You averted your gaze with a frown. 

“Premonitions,” you answered finally. “Curses.”

“wow, that sounds _spellbinding_.”

You rolled your eyes and narrowed them again. “That was terrible.”

Sans chuckled. To be honest, he kind of liked you. You were smart enough to get his jokes and banter back, even if you didn’t come up with puns. When you asked that day why he and his friends didn’t hate you for her family history, it was hard to just explain. Monsters’ souls were only made of love, mercy and compassion. It seemed like resentment was hard to cling onto. And besides... it wasn’t like it was you personally who sealed all the monsters away.

“whelp,” he shrugged, winking at you. “i’m going to grillby’s. wanna come with?”

You heard him mention that place so many times. What was it again, some restaurant? You shrugged back, slipping your glove back on before replying. “Sure.”

“promise you won’t go _flying off the broomhandle?_ ”

“... Are you just trying to pick a fight with me now?” Your eye was twitching but you smiled nonetheless, sliding off your seat and letting him lead the way to his one very favourite place. It was fun. There you could witness first-hand, the inhuman love he has for ketchup. And stupid jokes. Many, many stupid jokes.

-OMG IT’S TIME-

This was insane, you thought over and over in panic. This was definitely insane. What were you thinking? You stared at the back of the skeleton’s skull as you slowly changed the waters of the bouquet of orange lilies in your dining room. He was dozing on your couch, another activity that started to become a regular thing at your place. How did this happen? 

When did you start having these damn thoughts?

What thoughts? Those kinds of thoughts that would land you in hell, and those kinds of dreams that only are real in the darkest depths of the fucking internet. How is this happening? He’s a goddamn skeleton, he doesn’t have any... equipment like that! But... that possible figment of your imagination on that day. Maybe it was real. Maybe it wasn’t such a big deal about it either. But still...

You decided to ask. For science, er, magic.

“Sans.” Your head loomed over his sleeping face. Predictably, he opened his eyes and looked up at your face. You probably didn’t see it, but he also had to keep himself together. You’re not allowed to look that cute. 

“what’s up, kitten?”

Oh yes, that God forsaken name. You had been upgraded from ‘kid’ to ‘kitten’ by him. And it was horrifying. Mentally shaking your head, you stood in resolve and asked your burning question.

“How do monsters breed?”

“w-wha?” He shot up from the couch. Now he really had to keep it together. Did he just see the slightest tinge of pink on your cheeks? You leaned back, with your hands clasped behind you. Your expression was still as serious as ever.

“How do monsters breed?” you repeated. “You know, sexual intercourse.”

“uh...” Boy, was it getting hot in here or...? Sans tugged on his shirt collar nervously. “why... why do you want to know?”

“Just curious,” you replied simply, taking the next brave step in sitting down right next to him. He visibly squirmed, darting his eyes this way and that as he tried to think up an answer. “since we’re mostly made up of magic, our soul-”

“So how about you and a human?”

Were you being serious?!

“uh... well.” Sometimes he felt that his permanent grin would be the death of him one day. He felt almost dirty having his expression as he explained it to you. “well, i had some research done on humans and their methods...”

It was embarrassing to hear beyond belief, but you couldn’t help but burst out giggling. “You had a pressing need to look up how humans _bone?_ ” Sans stared at you speechless. Did you just...? You wiped a teary eye and smiled much too cutely for him. “Okay, continue.”

He managed to muster up a casual looking shrug as he grinned at you. “so we do it with magic.”

You stared at him with a deadpan. “And?”

“what else can I say?” Sans tilted his head with a knowing stare and grin. “if you’re asking what i think you’re asking, kitten... i’m literally a skeleton.”

Your blush deepened, as you glared and snapped. “Wha-?! I wasn’t-!”

His chuckle cut off your flustered stammering. Your mouth was agape, as your imagination before was indeed not an imagination. San’s left eye glowed with blue flame, while the other was as pitch black as the night. His teeth from his never-ending grin appeared sharper than you remembered and they parted to reveal his ethereal blue tongue. 

“but... you sure you want to continue down this rabbit hole, kitten?” he asked. Soft swirls of blue were gathering around his groin. If you were smart and quick enough to notice the tongue, you would be able to discern exactly what he was doing. “in that case... do you wanna have a _bed_ time?”

“Was that a pun? Didn't even make sense...” You remarked dryly, though with a smirk. Your hand was up in a stop signal, halting the skeleton short from his complete transformation. He blinked at you, the blue flame in his eye dying down just a bit as you stared blankly at him, half-thinking.

“So if I’m getting this right... you in particular can adapt to the other person’s genitalia?”

Sans, for the first time you had known him, groaned in despair. The blue glows and flames completely died out and the skeleton leaned back on the sofa as he stared at the ceiling. “yep. way to make this sound like a biology experiment, kitten.”

You giggled nervously, stretching your arms over her head as you ignored the heating rush down below. Half of you panicked, unsure of your almost decision to jump his bones, right then and there. His magic must be an extension of his body and soul, you figured, hence the easy ability for him to grow a magical human cock, right then and there.

But that was too easy for you, and quite possibly actually difficult for him. How was he supposed to know how a penis felt and looked like? How does soul power match up with physical flesh and bone? Does it even feel the same? You glanced over at him, who seemed to be dozing off again. A new question: how much human porn did he even watch? The thought of it made you giggle immaturely rather than blush.

It was too easy.

There had to be something else. Something better. You were a witch. You could figure it out. A sly smile crept across your lips with an excitement you hadn’t felt in a long time. There were more discoveries to be made – and you were sure at least this, was less sinful than stopping time. Only by a little bit.

Crawling over, you let yourself succumb to the sin of desire. Straddling his lap, you waited patiently until Sans opened his eyes and lifted his head to face you. “got anymore boring science questions?”

“Well, maybe one...” Your head tilted to the side innocently. “Because I know adapting never lets you feel fully satisfied...”

“... different for us, kitten. magic is a part of our body and soul, after all.”

“So I figured. But, that’s still not what I meant.” He felt his bones shiver as you giggled. You leaned in, only briefly registering the tongue that formed and hung out of his mouth. It was warm... and wet. More like ooze than liquid saliva, really - suppose that’s what the paranormal fans call ectoplasm. You briefly wondered how a skeleton and a human would foreplay when the former didn’t even have lips. Wait. That tongue. Got it.

Your face nuzzled against his cheek, taking the soft, lukewarm hum of his bones into memory. And your own tongue slithered out, tracing just the bare surface of his bone. It was smooth like ceramic, his face, that is... and kind of tasted like a something sweet. Maybe vanilla. Pulling back, you looked down at him, noticing the fluctuations of magic in his being. To you, they were a little more apparent and the image made you grin deviously. Your eyes were rather unblinking, staring right at the monster’s chest where it glowed the most blue. That must be where his soul resided.

A soft chuckle escaped your lips with a grind of your hips against his, even though you weren’t sure if the same human games applied to this monster, you slid off him slowly. Combing through your hair with your fingers, you paused in contemplation. You had an idea. It’d take some working with and a possible all-nighter but...

“Do you want to follow me into the rabbit hole?” you asked. Sans had to take a moment before he could form normal words.

“uh... i’m game if you are?” he answered in a daze. You giggled again behind your hand and glanced over to him. 

“Okay,” you said, “come over tomorrow night.”

“what?” Sans stared right into your eyes. “what are you planning?”

“Did you forget, Sans?” your purred, trailing a finger right up his neck. “I’m a witch.” You wondered if he understood the implications behind her words. Because, you know... for him, luckily, you wouldn’t be just any human. 

((You sinner.))

-

He’s late.

It’s ten at night now. Granted, you didn’t exactly give a time, so you couldn’t really blame the guy. In the meantime you were busy checking over your notes, going over the motions to make sure your theory was right. You cut the spell short and had your soul reabsorb back into your body. Doing it again was just more energy wasted and an open door to an unfortunate early night.

It’s eleven now.

Falling back onto your bed, you stared at the ceiling plainly. Maybe you got stood up. That’d be the best way to make you feel stupid, you thought, as you covered your eyes with your arm. What a big problem. Last night was an eventful dream that lingered well into your waking moments. Your body ached, like a goddamn animal in heat and just by then, you pulled off your gloves from your arms. You stared up at them.

“Fuck it,” you whispered, closing your eyes. One plus of having these hands, you supposed, was that you could imagine it was his. 

The room was dimly lit and silent, except for the soft pants that heaved in and out from your lips. It’s been a long time since you had these hands. This was also probably the first time you remembered trying it with them. It was thinner, and slightly cooler, with only muted phantom nerves to vaguely tell you where your hand was in space.

By the time you almost climaxed, you stopped yourself, now with your clothes hastily shed and strewn on the floor. You withdrew your hand, briefly noting how your discharge only freely slid down your appendages, rather than absorbing in like it would to skin. Without more time to waste, your hands went back in between your legs.

You wondered how he would act in situations like these. Was he as he tasted – kind of vanilla? Dominant or submissive? Experimental? Well, if it was with you, he’d have to be, because you didn’t know what the hell was going to come. Your head tilted back and you moaned softly. Wasn’t long until you were close again.

“Looks like you’re having fun.”

You jolted up with a short scream and shifted back until your back hit the wall. In the corner of your room near the doorway, Sans stood in the shadows, with nothing but his one eye glowing blue as the one isolated source of light. 

“S-Sans! How did you get in here?” you demanded. The moment you blinked, you found him directly in front of you on the bed, caging you in between his arms against the wall. “How long have you been here?” you added meekly.

His voice no longer held the laid back dorkiness he normally had. It was more serious. Carnal. In heat. “Long enough, kitten.” His sharp teeth parted and that god forsaken tongue slithered out, lapping up coolly against your throat until he decided to bite down. You gasped. He reached down between your legs, pushing your hands away. His own bony fingers took over easily. You groaned helplessly.

“No... A-Ah, Sans... Do you monsters seriously do this kind of thing?”

“Rrr...” He was too busy leaving bite marks on your skin, quite enjoying the slightest squirms of your body and heaves of your pants. “Not this exactly... but close enough.”

He pulled away, wicked grin beaming down on your form. You noticed it again, the blue glow that was pulsating wildly in his chest cavity. Reaching up, you pushed the thick jacket off him, partially cursing why he even bothered wearing this while it was springtime. But as you expected, a blue heart was beating and glowing behind his ribs. You began to reach out.

“Oh no, you don’t.” His hand clacked against yours, stopping you from proceeding any further. His left eye flared dangerously, having caught your full attention in its rather predatory gaze. “If you try and play around with my soul, you might not like what I’ll do to you next.”

“Hm. Is that so?” Your free hand, moved across the air and with a verbal non-language spell, your chest also glowed, in grey for you, until your soul was visible. A deep grey, symbolising the stains of your sins if you wanted to be poetic about it. You were willing to bet that if Sans touched it at all, your reaction would just be like his. He looked rather proud of you.

“So is this is what you were working on last night? Clever kitten.”

Before he could react, you launched forward desperately, grasping his blue soul with your hand. Time again seemed to freeze at a standstill. It was a quiet moment – with only you, the accursed human, and him, the monster skeleton locking into each other’s bewildered eyes. Until that wicked grin of Sans grew bigger. “You’re really asking for a _bone_ , aren’t you?”

He tackled against you, breaking your hold onto his soul. His tongue had wrapped around your heart before you knew it, and at that point, you cried out. Your entire being felt a hot burn of desire; strange waves of elation pressed against you almost in time with his own beating soul if you were a little more sane to notice. 

It was risky stuff, having your heart out in the open like this, but the feeling... dear god the sensations – you probably didn’t even sound human now, with what guttural sounds you were making. Is this what you would call ‘high risk, high reward?’ Chuckles and giggles echoed from both you and the skeleton, and the lightest nip he laid on your soul already had you orgasming. Nnn... it better be your turn to lick him next.

This was going to be so much fun.

-sorry, kitten. use your imagination, mk?-

What a mess you two were. You half-moaned and half-hummed as Sans pressed his knuckles into your shoulders and upper chest like a pseudo-massage. “You know, you don’t have to do the human things, Sans,” you murmured tiredly.

“oh, really?” His voice somewhat returned to how it was. But it was short lived, as you found herself rolled onto your back – and he mounting on top of you. His right eye flashed a wicked blue and he had that goddamn grin on, the thing that now got you hot and bothered. 

“Then I’ll just do all the monster things to you.”

Was that another pun? His jokes were getting worse the more he does it... but you giggled anyway. “I feel like I’m going to hell for this,” you drawled wryly. Your skeletal hand waved, and the slightest glow from your own chest began to reshape your soul back out into the open again. Sans was chuckling, amused by your words and your actions that showed your eagerness for a second round. With his gravitational powers, this time you were bound against the bed like a weight of lead. He dove in.

“I’m bringing you down with me, even if you’re not... Pet.”

END.

**Author's Note:**

> I feel a little dirty... but at the same time relieved. I can be normal again. Thanks for sticking by this piece of crap, if you even did. It's so crap, I'm so sorry. Now it’s time to fade into obscurity, lurk and read once in a while. Maybe I’ll be insane enough to write flat out explicit smut. Or write an actual story with proper plot and character development. I mean, do you want me to? Maybe? If you want? I dunno. I’m going to get out of here, lie on the floor and feel like garbage. Have a good one.


End file.
